Unpopped kernels: More of the best scenes from 2006
Published: Friday, January 05, 2007
National Post

Imagine, if you will, a super movie, two hours with only the best of scenes. In today's argot, it would be a visual playlist, all killer and no filler.

We polled every single one of the people who participated in the weekly back-and-forth-and-back-again gabfest that is the Popcorn Panel, and we now present to you a compilation of their best-of-2006 moments.

As the great Stanley Kubrick once said, no one ever complains about a movie for having too many good, short scenes. Of course, Eyes Wide Shut did clock in at two hours and 39 minutes, so take Stanley's advice for what it's worth.

In 1986, Village Voice film critic J. Hoberman put Game 6 of the Mets-Red Sox World Series on his top 10 film list (it was No. 5). You know, Mookie Wilson, Bill Buckner, through the legs, Mets win it all the next night … I was listening to that game on a portable radio in a movie theatre during a screening of Blue Velvet (which, interestingly, was No. 1 on Hoberman's list that year). Made it home in time to see the ninth inning, though. Anyway, to honour the 20th anniversary of that ground-breaking achievement in list-making, my favourite scene was from Game 4 of the Tigers-Athletics ALCS when Magglio Ordonez hit the ninth-inning, walk-off, series-winning home run against Huston Street to put the Tigers in World Series for the first time since 1984. Pure, blinding awesomeness.

—    Guy Spurrier, Post’s deputy sports editor, panellist Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

At the beginning of Stranger Than Fiction Will Ferrell is a blank slate, a character so devoid of personality that he barely exists. The actor has a rough road ahead making this character compelling enough to maintain our interest. For me he doesn’t really succeed until midway through the movie when his romance with the baker starts to develop. [SPOILER ALERT] In one of my favorite scenes of the year he hesitantly plays a song on guitar for Maggie Gyllenhaal and immediately takes the character from zero to hero. With his high-pitched, tentative voice mumbling through the opening verse of "Whole Wide World," a song about long lost love, he delivers a touching performance and goes a big step toward taking power over his own life. It’s the scene where Ferrell takes control of the character and is one of the most romantic sequences in a movie since Paul Giamatti and Virginia Madsen talked about their love of wine in Sideways a couple of years back.

— Richard Crouse, host of Rogers Television's Reel to Real, panellist Miami Vice, The Black Dahlia, The Departed, Borat, The Nativity Story, We are Marshall

My favorite scene from 2006 came from last weekends box office hit Jumanji 2: Spanking The Monkey At The Museum. In the film, Ben Stiller plays a clumsy night watchman at a museum who becomes fast enemies with a devilish monkey named Dexter. As a key plot point, Dexter likes to steal Ben's keys and then mock him from his cage. But, Ben thinks he's smarter than the animal, and tries to fool him with fake plastic keys. Hardy Har Har.

In the end, Ben and Dexter end up at each other's throats, slapping each other's faces around like the glory days of Hulk Hogan and The Iron Sheik. It was breathtaking. Honestly, can a primate be nominated for best supporting actor? I need an answer to this.

But the absolute best part of the film is when Dexter gets fed up with Ben's antics and decides to urinate all over him, soiling his uniform completely. I sat there with my nine-year-old cousin thinking to myself, "Wow, I just paid 11 bucks to see a golden shower in a kid's film." Thank you 20th Century Fox!

— Marc Griffin, professor of film studies at Queen's University, panellist Apocalypto

I just didn't see enough movies in 2006. Quite honestly, Hollywood and I are going through a trial separation right now and I'm completely comfortable with it. And I notice that most of my favourite filmmakers who might otherwise be regarded as contemporary seem to be going through a similar phase; Wes Anderson is producing more plans and rumours than actual footage, Todd Solondz seems to have worn out his welcome outright, and Whit Stillman is guzzling Manhattans in a deck chair somewhere on the Mediterranean coast. (Don't even get me started on Tarantino.) There was simply no movie released in 2006 that seemed to hold out the hope of being as enjoyable and engaging as the Viking funeral of Arrested Development, the up-to-the-minute lowbrow social critiques of South Park or the giddy-yet-incisive sub-Sherlockian pleasures of Monk or House, M.D.

If there were exceptions they might have been Borat and Jackass Number Two — i.e. TV shows blown up on to the movie screen. Actually, if I had to pick one scene, it would probably be the fat guy-midget bungee jump from Jackass. It's about 10 seconds long, but it contains a complete, concentrated, irrefutable critique of 20 years of aggressive intrusion into filmmaking by computers. You still can't beat real physics.

— Colby Cosh, an Edmonton freelance writer and host of colbycosh.com, panellist Block Party, A Prairie Home Companion

While I'm sure the Eberts of the world would turn up their nose at this one, the movie scene I loved best is from Will Farrrell's Talladega Nights: The Battle of Ricky Bobby. It's the scene where all-American Ricky Bobby first meets rival racecar driver Jean Girard, the gay Frenchman played by Sacha Baron-Cohen of Borat fame. The pretentious Girard, who reads Camus and sips macchiatos while racing a stock car sponsored by Perrier, exchanges words with Bobby and tries to kiss him. When macho Bobby takes a swing at the effete Frenchmen, Girard suddenly locks him in an arm bar, threatening to break the arm if Bobby won't say he enjoys crepes. Despite the intense pain, Bobby won't concede even as his friends plead with him, saying it's a good compromise. "They're just like little pancakes," says Bobby's pals. Still, Bobby won't say it and Girard indeed snaps the arm, which breaks as cleanly as a busted GI Joe.

Heath McCoy, author Pain and Passion: The History of Stampede Wrestling (CanWest Books, $26.95), panellist Nacho Libre

I liked the opening shot of The Queen; you think, “Am I looking at her portrait?” and then the “portrait” turns and looks back at you. Creepiest non-horror-movie moment of the year!

Also, Clive Owens’ cameo as James Bond in The Pink Panther. Almost made the movie worthwhile.

And speaking of James Bond, the scene in Casino Royale in which Bond’s prey makes a graceful leap through a window, and Bond just comes crashing through the wall instead. Ian Fleming once called him “a blunt instrument,” and I’ve never seen a metaphor realized so well.

I also liked the climax of The Pursuit of Happyness. I won’t say what it is, but Will Smith is on the screen and I’m in the audience and we’re both thinking, “Must...not...cry.”

Finally, a scene in Crank in which a man is speaking Japanese, with English subtitles. In one shot, the camera cuts to the man’s point of view, and the reverse subtitles hanging in front of him, just as he would see them.

— Chris Knight, the National Post's chief film critic and the creative power behind the Popcorn Panel, panellist Stranger Than Fiction, World Trade Center, The Lady in the Water, Brokeback Mountain, Firewall, The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, V for Vendetta, Thank You for Smoking, ATL, The Chronicles of Narnia, United 93, Pirates of the Caribbean

My favourite scene is the Parcours chase sequence through the Madagascar construction site in Casino Royale. The athletic showmanship, tension and unbelievable choreography were absolutely fantastic. But apart from the obvious demonstration of gymnastic agility, which elicited gasps from the audience, it powerfully punctuated Daniel Craig's debut — literally -crashing through drywall, boldly announcing that there is a new Bond in town ... and that this one is unstoppable.

— Julie Eng, a Toronto "magicienne" (www.magicienne.com ), panellist The Illusionist

A plane crash kills the Marshall football team: coaches, boosters, and players — all gone. How do you show the unfathomable grief that overtook the town of Huntington, W.Va. in the days after that event? While director McG’s style is usually over-the-top (eg. Charlie’s Angels), he pulls off one of the truly affecting scenes of the year in We are Marshall. A funeral procession drives down a country road. Pretty cliché, right? But then the procession stops. Why is it stopping? For another funeral procession to pass. Great filmmaking is sometimes in what you don’t show. Just read Richard Crouse’s scene (below).

—  Craig Courtice, a short filmmaker who isn’t very tall, chief Popcorn Panellist

There’s a great moment in The Departed where psycho gangster Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson) tries to discover which of his crew has been feeding the police inside information about his operation. I say it is a great scene, but what I should say is that I imagine it is a great scene. It’s probably pure Scorsese, filled with tension, violence and even a little bit of sadism. I say imagine because we never actually see the scene. What we do see is a brief exchange between Billy Costigan (Leonardo Di Caprio) and Costello that is all of three lines long. Di Caprio shows up to get his assignment for the day at Costello’s hangout. Costello comes out of a back room, sleeves rolled up, covered in blood with an grim clown smile plastered on his face, and tells Leo DiCaprio to take the day off because he’s trying out a new crew. We don’t see as much as a bitch slap or a kneecapping, but we can imagine the grim goings on in the back room and that is worse than anything Scorsese could have shown us. When Nicholson points to the back with his dripping red hand and tells the bartender to “get a mop” our curiosity is peaked. Nicholson covered in blood is startling, but leaving out why he is covered in gore is memorable.

—    Crouse again
Compiled by Craig Courtice

Unpopped kernels: Sibling storytellers
Pang brothers latest in a line of siblings who do movies
National Post
Friday, February 09, 2007

This week's panel for Unpopped Kernels

- Richard Crouse, host of Rogers Television's Reel to Real, Canada's longest-running movie review show, and the author of The 100 Best Movies You've Never Seen (ECWPress, 2003). His Web site is www.richardcrouse.ca

Al Burzotta, clerk at Suspect Video (www.suspectvideo.com), "Toronto's hippest depot of higher culture"

Craig Courtice, a short filmmaker who isn't very tall This week's pie Sunflower This week's subject The Messengers

Richard: Filmmaking brothers are enough of a rarity, let alone twin filmmaking brothers. For seven years the Polish Brothers, Michael and Mark, have been making interesting, if little seen, art house movies that do well at festivals but not in general release. Their movies are lovely to look at, they have a real knack for composition that sometimes overwhelms their stories, but what are movies if not eye candy? I remember reading an interview with them a few years ago on the release of their film Northfork, described by Roger Ebert as “visionary and elegiac,” in which they said they chose to jam pack that movie with all the art house magic they could because “when we sell out, and we will sell out” they wouldn’t be able to get away with such noncommercial concerns. They have a new movie due out this month called The Astronaut Farmer starring Billy Bob Thornton. This would be their sell-out film, except that it’s not a sell out, it’s an inspiring film that blends their beautiful filmmaking sensibilities with an inspiring story and a healthy dose of subversive content.

Al: Larry and Andy Wachowski, what has fame done to the directing duo from Chicago who gave us back the science fiction movie after James Cameron refused to let sleeping ships lie? Well in Larry's case it caused him to leave his high school sweetheart, marry a dominatrix (who is now a doctor I think) and begin appearing in public as a woman named Lara Wachowski. Who needs an imaginary computer world with no boundaries when you have Hollywood? Larry's bizarre behaviour aside, I fear the team that brings such unabashed adolescent glee to their projects (dueling assassins, lesbian kidnappers) may be travelling down the same road as fellow sci-fi eccentric, George "Don't worry, we'll blue screen it later" Lucas.

The Wachowskis followed the Matrix movies with an adaptation of their favourite graphic novel, V for Vendetta, penned by profusely bearded and notoriously cranky author Alan Moore. They wrote and produced the picture only to slide the directing chair over to second unit special effects guy James McTeigue. The result was a swirling shitstorm of bad press prior to the film’s release involving Moore disassociating himself with not only the movie but also with heavyweight distributor DC Comics. Vendetta was a huge hit, but the brothers lost a little of their comic book nerd credibility in the process. Now the two of them have gotten the green light to write and direct Speed Racer, a project that has had more big names attached to it over the years than Heidi Fleiss’s little black book. The word is that the picture almost fell through again, but Vince Vaughan stepped onboard and is keeping the whole thing afloat. A Wachowski brothers picture that needs Vince Vaughn to hang on to it? Smells like trouble in Zion.

Craig: Excellent call on the Polish brothers. I love, love, loved Northfork, not only for its unique vision, but because the brothers realized their vision for under US$2-million. They even enlisted their carpenter father to construct the elaborate sets (including an ark). Of course, the Coen Brothers would probably have topped all of our lists before they went into their remake phase (O Brother, Where Art Thou, The Ladykillers, Intolerable Cruelty).

But I’d like to pay homage to a different set of filmmaking brothers — the Kaufman brothers. Sure, we’re all aware of the post-modern screenplays of Charlie, but for all the success of Being John Malkovich and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotted Mind, neither of those films was as lauded, at least by the Academy, as Adaptation. In 2003, that film, which starred Nicolas Cage as a screenwriter trying to adapt a magazine article about orchids, garnered a nomination for best adapted screenplay. The names attached to that nomination were Charlie and Donald Kaufman. Donald was unable to attend the Oscars that year, or any other year for that matter. That’s because Donald is not Charlie’s real brother. He’s not even a real person. This story to me is the essence of why brothers, real or imagined, seem to have so much success at filmmaking.

Ecstatic fans greet Bollywood stars in T.O.
Fri. Jan. 12 2007
CTV.ca News Staff

Two of India's biggest actors, including a star Julia Roberts once called the most beautiful woman in the world, drew thousands to a film premiere Thursday -- in Toronto.

Some fans paid $500 for tickets to the gala screening of "Guru," in a rare film event for Canada's South Asian community.

Police estimated 1,200 fans were lined up outside the historic Elgin Theatre, some waiting up to six hours just to catch a glimpse of the film's stars: Abishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai.

"She is so beautiful!" one fan said of Rai, who also models for L'Oreal cosmetics.

Bachchan and Rai are a couple both on and off the screen. Many had speculated that the couple would announce their engagement at the premiere. But Bachchan told Canada AM that he would rather fans not focus so much on his and Rai's private life.

"I gladly share my work with everyone so I've never really understood the excitement and why people have been so inquisitive to know what I'm doing in my private life. When there is something to be told, I'm sure that we will definitely say something.

"But as of right now, we're very busy working, we've done our work, we're here in Toronto, we're enjoying the moment, we love being here. It's been a fantastic reception. We would much rather focus on that."

The producers of "Guru" picked Toronto for the screening after another Bollywood film, "Never Say Goodbye," attracted massive crowds at the Toronto International Film Festival.

"Bollywood films do play here, but this is an even bigger deal because this is a world premiere," says film critic Richard Crouse.

Mayor David Miller said the screening shows that Bollywood is increasingly looking at the North American market, especially multicultural cities like Toronto.

Last year, Bollywood films earned an estimated $40 million in Canada.

"To have the premiere of this film is terrific, shows respect for the South Asian community here, and honours Toronto's stature in the film world," he told CTV News.

"Guru" is based on the real story of a young man, who rose from his poverty in the 1950s to become one of India's leading textile merchants. In the film version, the character takes unethical steps to achieve his success.

Based loosely on the story of Dhirubhai Ambani, one of India's leading industrialists, the producers say it's also a story about anyone Indian who started from scratch and succeeded.

Like all Bollywood films, it has plenty of humour, singing and dancing.

"We have a lot of songs much that's because our culture is very musical," Bachchan says. "I think a unique aspect which might be more different to the Hollywood films is that we have a lot of song and dance, a lot of pomp and pageantry, always poetic justice. And we do it at a hundredth the price that they do it in Hollywood."

Popcorn Panel
Friday, February 23, 2007
National Post
THIS WEEK'S PANEL

- Craig Courtice, a short filmmaker who isn't very tall

- Chris Knight, the Post's chief film critic and the inspiration behind the Popcorn Panel

- Richard Crouse, host of Rogers Television's Reel to Real, Canada's longest-running movie review show, which will host its 10th annual movie awards call-in special live from Toronto's Drake Hotel on Saturday night from8 to 9:30 p.m.

This week's pie Stolen

This week's subject Breaking and Entering

Craig: As was mentioned in the Breaking and Entering Popcorn Panel the last three films Anthony Minghella directed, The English Patient, The Talented Mr. Ripley and Cold Mountain, garnered Academy Award nominations. But his latest film has only sold US$344,000-worth of tickets and received a dreaded release in February, usually the time of year for fat-suit comedies and horror films. And all this despite a cast with Jude Law, Juliette Binoche and Robin Wright Penn. This is clearly another U.F.O — Unidentified Film Obliteration, a good film that mysteriously goes unnoticed by critics and film fans alike. Breaking and Entering reminds me of a 2002 U.F.O. that had many ties to Minghella. Ripley’s Game starred John Malkovich as Tom Ripley, the titular character that Matt Damon played in 1999. It featured an amazing cameo by Ray Winstone, who also gave a bravura performance in Breaking and Entering. And like Minghella’s latest, Ripley’s Game went M.I.A. despite its superior filmmaking. Roger Ebert was so impressed with the film that he included it in his Overlooked Film Festival and wrote that it probably would have made his top 10 list for that year, except the Malkovich vehicle, which followed Ripley as an older, more self-assured malefactor, did not even get a theatrical release. The fact that this well-plotted, beautifully designed film went straight-to-DVD is a crime. What other U.F.Os come to mind?

Chris: When it played the Toronto International Film Festival in September, Snow Cake seemed to have everything going for it except a decent name. Big star (Sigourney Weaver), Cancon (Carrie-Anne Moss, Emily Hampshire), Britcon (Alan Rickman), exotic locations (Wawa, Ont., not a place you see on film every day) and a heart. Rickman plays a traveller on his way to Winnipeg who gets sucked into the life of a high-functioning autistic woman (Weaver) who has just suffered a devastating loss and can't even cope with taking out the garbage. But in spite of packing them into theatres from Sudbury to, er, Wawa, Snow Cake never achieved critical mass in southern Canada. More's the pity, because it's a beautiful, quiet story of unlikely but believable friendship, funny and fresh, perfect for watching on a winter's eve.

Richard: The Boondock Saints is notable for two reasons. First it’s a really fun crime drama that nobody saw when it was released and, secondly, it is witness to the kind of career flameout by a director not seen in Hollywood since they set fire to the office building in The Towering Inferno. The plot is fairly simple. Set in Boston, but shot in Toronto, it’s about a pair of brothers who accidentally rub out two Mafia wise guys. Instead of doing hard time they are heralded as hometown heroes and the attention turns them into vigilantes who vow to make the streets safe again. Willem Dafoe plays a conflicted cop who must track down and arrest the brothers for murder even though they are making the city a safer place.

Dismissed at the time as cheap Tarantino, the movie found a second life on DVD, becoming a much-rented cult hit. On-screen bartender turned director Troy Duffy keeps things moving along at a good clip but off-screen he allowed his ego to get in the way, alienating pretty much everyone involved in the production. In the ultimate Tinsel Town C.L.M. (career limiting move) he ticked off Miramax honcho Harvey Weinstein, who allegedly buried the project upon completion. For the whole story (and a good companion piece to Boondock Saints) check out the documentary Overnight that chronicles Duffy’s short rise and free fall.

Popcorn Panel
National Post
Friday, February 23, 2007

Quentin Tarantino has said the sign of a good film is that it makes you want to go home, eat some pie and talk about it. With that in mind, our Popcorn Panel features film buffs feuding in this space each week.

THIS WEEK'S PANEL

- Craig Courtice, a short filmmaker who isn't very tall

- Chris Knight, the Post's chief film critic and the inspiration behind the Popcorn Panel

- Richard Crouse, host of Rogers Television's Reel to Real, Canada's longest-running movie review show, which will host its 10th annual movie awards call-in special live from Toronto's Drake Hotel on Saturday night from8 to 9:30 p.m. This week's pie Stolen This week's subject Breaking and Entering

Craig: Breaking and Entering has the intertwining storylines of Babel, the humanizing of Muslims that was in United 93 and the mentally challenged child as in Notes on a Scandal. It stars Vera Farmiga, the actress who played a shrink in The Departed. And to top it off, it has a chase scene that's as good as the one in Casino Royale. Yet, somehow this brilliant picture slipped through the cracks. How else to explain a February release, no love from the Academy and mostly tepid reviews?

Chris: I loved this movie, although as a committed Anglophile I'm a sucker for anything set in London. I thought the February release here in Canada meant the studio had given up on Oscar dreams, but it did play in Los Angeles in December, which means it was eligible for nominations; it just didn't get any. Rick Groen, writing in the Globe and Mail, exemplified the critical response: He lauded the actors, enjoyed the dialogue and thought the scenes rang true, then damned "the stitching that binds them together" and doled out two and a half stars out of four. Most critics seem to feel it's a touch too tidy -- the film it's most often compared to is Crash, which isn't on Craig's list. Mind you, that had the Academy panting, and it made a star out of its screenwriter, Canada's Paul Haggis. But it was also set in L.A., a land Oscar voters know well.

Richard: I couldn't agree more with Mr. Groen. Breaking and Entering is a tease, a movie that promises much but delivers relatively little. Its multi-layered story is far too ambitious, taking on issues of immigration in the new England, the fragility of relationships and how a mother's love trumps all. I'd like to tell Mr. Minghella to dig his heels in, decide which one of the stories he'd like to tell and tell it. As it stands, he has cast the net way too wide and served up sloppy storytelling in the guise of "important" filmmaking.

In a strong performance, Jude Law tries to anchor the film while the various storylines swirl around him like garbage bags in a high wind. Which is a shame because, story aside, the individual elements -- the dialogue and acting -- work well enough, but, like Frankenstein, when they are all stitched together the end result is less than perfect.

Craig: Maybe I'm miscounting, but I can only come up with two, maybe three, storylines in B&E -- Law and his family, Law and Juliette Binoche and the son. This hardly counts as too ambitious, especially considering Babel and The Departed take on even more characters.

But back to Law, who Richard rightfully singled out for praise. It was exactly two years ago when Sean Penn defended Law as "one of our finest actors" after Oscar host Chris Rockmade a quip about Jude Law not being Tom Cruise. It's true, Law is an easy target with his pretty-boy looks and nanny-bonking, but it's also true that with this film and Closer, he's probably the best leading man in the movies right now, with Clive Owen and Daniel Craig close behind. What's with those Brits, Chris?

Chris: You could stock 15 years' worthof James Bond sequels with Craig (the new Sean Connery), Owen (the new Pierce Brosnan) and Law (the new Roger Moore). But Craig (our Craig, not Daniel Craig) is right; we can hardly blame Minghella for tapping into the zeitgeist of movies that are all about long-distance cause and effect. Remember 2005's critical darling Syriana and last year's Crash? Even the documentary nominee An Inconvenient Truth is all about connections. I like a movie that tries to engage me on a number of levels at once. I wonder what would have been the result had Clint Eastwood combined Flags of Our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima into one huge epic? Perhaps a bit more messy, but life's like that.

Richard: Perhaps I wasn't clear enough in my last posting. I do like movies that try and engage me on different levels, that strive to do something other than get from point A to point B in the most linear way possible. What I don't like are movies that can't seem to decide what they are. Breaking and Entering feels cobbled together to me, as though none of the stories are well developed enough to stand on their own.

Life is messy, which is exactly why I'd like some sense of order inmy movies. Law is the common thread that binds together all the plot points, and he does well, but imagine his performance if he wasn't stretched quite so much. Minghella and Law have worked together several times -- they're becoming the British Scorsese and De Niro of their generation -- and usually the combination of the two is interesting. Here, to me it feels forced.

Popcorn Panel
National Post
Friday, March 16, 2007

Quentin Tarantino has said the sign of a good film is that it makes you want to go home, eat some pie and talk about it. With that in mind, our Popcorn Panel features film buffs feuding in this space each week.

THIS WEEK'S PANEL

- Craig Courtice, a short filmmaker who isn't very tall

- Christopher Hutsul, an artist, writer and short filmmaker who also isn't very tall. You can see his work at www.hutsul.com

- Richard Crouse, host of Rogers Television's Reel to Real, Canada's longest-running movie review show. He appears on Best! Movies! Ever! on Star TV every Wednesday at 8 p.m. His Web site is www.richardcrouse.ca

This week's pie: Spanokopita. This week's subject 300

Craig: Listen, I'm just going to come out right now and say this --I'm 37. I try to stay on top of pop culture, but more and more I'm feeling like my tastes don't really mesh with those of the masses. I tried to get stoked for this film, but then I found out folks don't get stoked anymore, they get amped. Actually, for 10 minutes of 300 I actually wondered how they managed to pull off some of the shots. I was kinda jealous, even -- the only historical film I got to watch in school was Gandhi. Now they have this and Apocalypto.

But I soon realized I was just watching a two-hour advertisement for Sparta beer, and not the witty kind of suds ad, but the lame Labatt kind. Then I checked the box-office numbers and the audience response numbers and I wondered -- my schooling might not have been very cool, but at least I learned critical thinking.

Richard: I'm not sure what your expectations were for the movie, but if all Labatt's ads looked like 300 I might actually be convinced to drink the stuff. I didn't go to the movie expecting a history lesson or to expand my mind. I went expecting to let my eyeballs dance, and I wasn't disappointed. It's a fantastic-looking movie, like a neoclassical painting come to life: visually arresting, utterly unique and brutally beautiful. It's the film equivalent of a heavy metal concert. Like the soldiers it celebrates, it takes no prisoners.

Chris: What comes to life here isn't so much neoclassical painting as Frank Miller's drawings. As a comics guy, I was stunned by how literally the comic was translated to the big screen. The filmmakers even managed to animate colourist Lynn Varley's soupy, coppery skies. On one hand I was impressed by the deft mimicry -- on the other, it felt like deja vu, or the feeling you've seen these bloody, chiselled abs before. In the comics world, people have a lot of negative stuff to say about Miller (he can't draw, he can't write), but he once again proves himself to be the world's foremost purveyor of awesomeness.

Craig: It's funny, I'm reading David Mamet's Bambi vs. Godzilla right now, and in the first paragraph of the introduction he presages films such as 300 and their ilk: "The day of the dramatic script is ending. In its place we find a premise, upon which the various gags may be hung. These events, once but ornaments in an actual story, are now, fairly exclusively, the film's reason for being." I guess that Mamet guy won a Pulitzer for a reason. I mean, even fanboys like yourselves must admit the scene with the oracle was just a bit off putting in a "gee, porn has finally come to the multiplex" way. And since when did the Spartans invent Bowflex?

I'm just not sold on comic books --er, graphic novels --making great movies, because the artists are more interested in being cool and edgy than serving the almighty story.

Chris: I agree that 300 fell flat in those backroom politicking scenes. But in this case, I can excuse the lack of attention to what Craig calls the almighty story. Here, the names, symbols and imagery are borrowed from history merely to serve as a set of parameters for which to showcase meticulous art direction and bleeding-edge action choreography. The director was so successful in creating an alternate universe here that he sheds any responsibility to educate his audience. 300 takes place on another planet, possibly in the distant future. It's problematic to call this a historical movie, but it will look mighty fine in my sci-fistash.

Richard: Mamet shouldn't be so quick to throw stones. After all, he did write The Edge. I have to take issue with Craig's notion that 300 is a premise in search of a story. Contrary to movies like Wild Hogs, which really was just a sketchy idea supported by four big stars, 300 does have a story that is about honour, loyalty, disgrace and treachery supplemented with lots of ass-kicking. It's not complicated, but it is more than just a platform for the fight scenes.

Popcorn Panel: Eastern Promises
National Post
Published: Friday, September 28, 2007

First there was Siskel & Ebert. Then Ebert & Roeper. But what if you could have Siskel & Ebert & Roeper? Vive le difference, non? That's the idea behind the Popcorn Panel, the Post's weekly film throwdown.

This week's panel - Craig Courtice, a short filmmaker who isn't very tall

- Richard Crouse, host of Rogers Television's Reel to Real, Canada's longest-running movie review show. His Web site is www.richardcrouse.ca

- Sean Carrie, a University of Calgary law student and one-time voice-over star of Hong Kong cinema

This week's film Eastern Promises.

Craig: I find it puzzling that Eastern Promises won the audience choice award at TIFF this year. As Schwarzenegger would say, "it's got ahction und adventure und romance," and even full-frontal Viggo, but I would hardly call it a crowd-pleaser. And, unlike History of Violence, it really doesn't have much to say. What gives?

Richard: One American pundit suggested that Eastern Promises' win was about locals voting for the local boy, but I really think there's more to it. Once again, Cronenberg has delivered a film ripe with unforgettable moments -- the way Viggo's Russian mobster casually flicks his cigarette, the birthday party's incredible layout of food and yes, Mortensen's full frontal. It has a muscular story trimmed of all the fat, terrific performances and doesn't worry about a message. Do you care about the message in The Godfather or Goodfellas? People watch those movies because they are good stories well told. Eastern Promises is content to be a solid thriller and has no pretensions to being anything else.

Sean: There's something to be said for a ripping good narrative; it's hard to fault a film for lacking a message if it distracts you by other means. But it sounds, Craig, like your puzzlement with the TIFF audience reaction reflects an inability to decide whether Cronenberg turned your attentions away from the film's faults. I had the same reaction. There were a lot of (visual) aspects of Eastern Promises that I found satisfying: The fight scene, the ugly portrait of London and the luxe atmosphere of the Trans-Siberian club. I'm undecided as to whether the parts make a satisfying whole.

Craig: The Godfather had a few things to say about loyalty, and Goodfellas was about honour amongst thieves. They resonate because they take us into worlds we would never visit and present human truths. Eastern Promises transports us to Little Russia in London, but it was hard to relate to the characters. It's as if the entire thing was an excuse for that one big scene. A hell of a scene, but does that make it a hell of a movie?

Richard: I'm not sure what you were expecting from Eastern Promises. Aside from Viggo's taut bottom, the movie offers up examinations of masculine codes of honour, moral dilemmas and identity issues. The characters and their actions raised questions of motivation: How can a man who can coldly dismember a dead body also display gentleness? How do you know whom to trust? The film doesn't put forward easy answers, but speaks volumes on the subjects that appealed to you from The Godfather and Goodfellas.

Sean: Something that Eastern Promises does well is pry each character's mind away from their body. Perhaps the best example is Nikolai's gentleness and the long history of crime and punishment that's literally inscribed on his flesh. While the film doesn't explicitly address it, this separation of body and mind is a huge part of the immigrant experience. This separation also helps explore some questions of nature vs. nurture that Cronenberg dwelled on in A History of Violence.

Unpopped kernels: Eastern Promises

Craig: All right, we've tiptoed around the big scene in Eastern Promises long enough. It's set in a London bathhouse and features some fairly shocking nudity and violence. I have to say I think the one scene actually does make up for all of the film's faults. You might argue that the film plods along after the opening two scenes. But that plodding pace sets up the sauna scene so well. It really does take your breath away in a way that few fight sequences do. In fact I challenge you to shortlist scenes that live up to this one in terms of creativity and gall.

Richard: In terms of creativity and gall I'd have to choose a scene from A Clockwork Orange that still shocks today, 36 years after its original release. Stanley Kubrick used a handheld camera to shoot the film's savage Singing in the Rain rape scene. The choice of camera is inspired. The handheld provides intimacy as it switches from the victim's point of view to Alex de Large's (Malcolm McDowell) vantage point, putting the viewer right in the center of this horrible act. There's nothing clinical about the violence in this scene, and the effect is disorienting and terrifying. The irrational, cruel and ritualistic act is made even more perverse with the use of Singing in the Rain, a song that celebrates the optimism and bliss of life.

The scene took three days to shoot, longer than any other in the film, and was so difficult for the actress originally cast as Mrs. Alexander that she had to be replaced. The use of Singing in the Rain came up during rehearsals when Kubrick, experimenting to find an interesting way to present this material, asked McDowell if he could dance while intimidating the Alexanders. When McDowell started to sing Singing in the Rain - he claims it was the only song he knew all the words to, although he actually gets them wrong and repeats the same verse twice - Kubrick latched on to it right away. He bought the rights to the song for $10,000 and while the scene has become a classic, Gene Kelly never spoke to Kubrick again after the release of the film.

Sean: An inspired challenge; I'm wracking my brains trying to produce something that isn't notable only for its shock value. The remarkable thing about the steambath scene in Eastern Promises is that, despite its throwing caution to the oncoming breeze, indelicacy-wise, it doesn't reek of gratuitousness as does, say, any scene in American Psycho (to pick a film at random) or even a lot of Cronenberg's own Crash. Perhaps because Eastern Promises is, overall, so reserved in its use of this kind of brazen scene its effect is to relieve tension (much as would a good steam bath, one assumes) rather than create it. By the time Nikolai dons his towel you want something to happen, not in a titillating or voyeuristic way, but more in a cathartic manner. Another famous scene that has the same effect, at least on me, is the Dennis Hopper/Isabella Rossellini rape scene in Blue Velvet, or maybe Chris Walken's Russian roulette death in The Deer Hunter. I'd venture that both of those certainly meet the creativity standard, as well.

Craig: Well done, gents. This one really made me think. Yet all I could come up with is a fight scene from television. Very compelling television, but television nonetheless. The final season of HBO's Deadwood was mostly banal speechifying, but like Eastern Promises that pace was on purpose because it set up one of the most shocking, gory fight sequences I've witnessed. Tension has been mounting in camp between Swearingen, the old boss, and Hearst, the rich new guy from San Francisco. Finally, Al tells his henchman, Dan, to ready himself for battle. To prepare for the fight, Dan rubs grease all over his body. In Hearst's hotel room, the mining magnate instructs his hired muscle, Capt. Turner, to make a statement so that the rest of Deadwood gets the message. The two behemoths, both of whom have done their share of murder, approach each other. They wrestle, they kick, they punch, all in the muddy thoroughfare. Elbows are thrown, hair is pulled, carts are toppled. It appears like two grizzly bears grappling. The whole town gathers around. Al and Hearst watch dispassionately from their roosts. Capt. Turner gets the upper hand by taking a bite out of Dan's cheek. He grabs him from behind and chokes him.

Dan spits and struggles, but the Captain throws him down. He dunks his head in a puddle. Hearst gives him a nod. Al bows his head. It appears Dan is done for. But at the last second, Al's man throws the overconfident Captain off. He crawls off. The Capt., also exhausted, crawls after him. He grabs him from behind, turns him over and straddles him. Smash! Dan's head against a rock. The Captain gets his energy.

Smash! Again, but no! Dan puts his arm out and gets his fingers in his opponent's eye. He pokes for dear life, gouging until the eyeball falls right. The pain paralyzes Hearst's man. Screaming! Such screaming! Slowly, Dan rises. Looks around. Sees a log. Picks it up. Smash! He knocks the Captain down across the back. Panting. Panting. Dan looks right at Hearst, then at Al. Smash! Across the head. The Captain is done. Smash! All right, it's over. Smash! Dan walks away, not triumphant but defeated.

The fight obviously represents the change in power structure of the town, but also shows what kind of violence was necessary in order to win democracy in the North Dakota town. The so-called code of honour is shown to be a farce; Dan cheats with the grease, then "wins" by using tactics only a girl would use. The fight is a boiled-down version of the series; a no-holds barred dissection of how the west was really won.

FAT-CATTERY OR SMART-ASSERY?
National Post
Friday, July 13, 2007

Filmmaking is a collaborative art, so why isn't film reviewing? Each week in this space, experts, artists and paying movie customers come together to take apart a recent release. It's salty. It's full of hot air. It's The Popcorn Panel.

This week's panel:

- Craig Courtice, a short filmmaker who isn't very tall

- Richard Crouse, host of Rogers Television's Reel to Real, Canada's longest-running movie review show. His Web site is www.richardcrouse.ca

- Rachel Sklar, media editor at the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com/ media/the-news/eat-the-press). This week's subject Sicko

Craig: Let's put our political differences aside (especially you, Little Miss Huffington) and consider Michael Moore's filmmaking. I admit I skipped out on the big guy's last few films (though I did enjoy him in Team America). Bowling for Columbine and Fahrenheit 9/11 just seemed too stunty for me. But I figured health care was too near to my slightly enlarged heart (which also has a tiny hole in it) to miss Sicko. My diagnosis? Moore has some compelling stories here and some great dirt on the insurance industry. It's too bad he ended with another stunt.

Richard: I can't go along with your take on "the stunt" that ends the film. In the most provocative sequence in the film, Moore takes a group of 9/11 rescue workers, now suffering from respiratory illnesses, to Guantanamo Bay. From a boat in the bay, Moore bleats through a megaphone that they only want the same care offered to the "evil-doers" behind the imposing grey walls of the prison. It's striking, incendiary and a near-perfect Moore moment. When they are met with alarms instead of open arms, Moore and his guests continue on to Cuba where they are warmly received and given the care they need. It may be a stunt, but if so, it's a good one and ends the film on a deeply resonant note. Besides, a Michael Moore film without a stunt or two would be like an Oreo without the white gooey filling, or Madonna without the pointy cone bra. It could still exist but wouldn't be nearly as much fun.

Rachel: There's no denying that the Gitmo move is a stunt, but who cares? Moore is a damn good filmmaker, and that moment is a damn compelling bit of tape. The Gitmo bit is actually pretty short, and pretty incidental to the Cuba portion of the film. But stunt or not, it underscores this story, which is about how hard it is for a regular, insured American to receive the medical care he or she needs, and how the insurance companies are incentivized to deny as much treatment as possible to save money. If you thought that last sentence was boring, you'd be right, and that's why Moore is a genius --because he took an important yet potentially snoozy issue and brought it to life brilliantly and so skillfully, sneaking education to the viewer in the guise of entertainment. So, stunts? OK in my book.

Craig: Like I said, there's plenty of great stories in Sicko. Those stories stand up on their own. The role of the documentary filmmaker is to document what happens, not create what happens.

Outside of splicing and dicing film, though, I'm not sure Michael Moore is all that bright. He's clearly never studied any kind of economics text or he would understand the difference between socialized medicine and socialized police. Something called a free rider problem, if I remember correctly. Individual units of medical care can be purchased, individual units of protection cannot. Unwittingly, Moore also makes the case against government interference when he points out how Hillary Clinton was bought out. If the Republicans are corrupt and the Democrats are corrupt, why would you hand anything over to them? But, of course, the U.S. system is not a private system at all. Moore even has the 1971 footage of Richard Nixon announcing the National Health Strategy, proving that HMOs are in bed with the government. There's one thing about being a smartass; there's always someone with a smarter, bigger ass than yours. Even bigger than Michael Moore's.

Richard: Moore is no more a documentary filmmaker than Bill O'Reilly is a journalist, which is to say that both men break all the rules of their crafts, and in a way transcend the titles that media types like to hang around their necks. Moore, like O'Reilly, uses the facts to his advantage, and frankly I'm glad he does. We need a left-leaning voice like his to take on the 24-hour-a-day onslaught of right-wing outlets like O'Reilly's. Not that bright? That's pretty harsh, but then again I'm not aware of the economic principle you're talking about, so perhaps I'm not that bright, either. I would point out, however, that much like the individual units of medical care for sale in the Untied States, it's just as easy, probably easier, to hire a bodyguard to provide individual units of protection. Ask the beefy men who surround Paris Hilton everywhere she goes. They ain't working for free; they can't -- they have to pay for their health care.

Rachel: OK, I'm with Richard: Canada's health care system rocks. Yes, fine, wait times -- but like there aren't in the States? As someone who's logged hours in the emergency room on both sides of the border, I can personally attest to it. And Craig, it's a red herring to mutter darkly that politicians can't be trusted -- would you rather have your health care in the hands of an HMO? You saw that movie -- remember the baby with the 104-degree fever? The woman with cancer denied treatment because it was "experimental"? The guy whose brother was a perfect match for a kidney transplant -- but the operation was denied? They all died. You really think that's an improvement?

It's not, and you know it, and Moore knows it, and that's why he made this film. Make fun of Moore's ass all you want, but he did something great here. He put in the time, sourced all his facts and came away with something really important: A film that may just make a difference. And lucky you, you get to watch it happen from the right side of the border.

Unpopped kernels: More thoughts on Sicko
National Post
Published: Friday, July 13, 2007

Sicko: Unpopped kernels

Richard: Craig, I'm not sure I get your point about government interference when dealing with health care. I think the point that Michael Moore makes is that the whole system in the United States needs to be revamped, that the government has given control to the insurance companies who in turn have turned health care into a business more concerned with profits than the welfare of the sick. He may not be a fan of the Republicans or Democrats, but his larger point is that the last people who should be administering health care are the insurance companies.

No health care system is perfect. Anyone who has sat in an emergency room in Toronto or Vancouver for three hours to get five stitches can tell you that, but the point Moore makes is that at least we in Canada are offered medical attention regardless of our age, the state of our existing health or income level. With that in mind I wanted to kiss the ground when I left the theatre, happy to live in a country where, by our taxes at least, we look after each other when we need the help most.

Craig: This is the myth that folks seem to buy into. That our system takes care of people. But take the case of a man in his mid-30s with a lower back problem. He wakes up one day and loses feeling in his legs. He goes to his chiropractor who immediately sends him to the emergency room. He waits for hours next to a new mother with the same problem. The CAT scan comes back and the doctor tells the patient his disk is so herniated it's "juicy."

More waiting. Some interns give him a catheter test and poke a pin around his anus. They send him home with a prescription for Percocet and tell him to come back in five days. He goes to his appointment with a neurosurgeon five days later. The doctor unwinds a paper clip and asks the patient if he can tell if he's being poked with the sharp edge or the dull edge. The patient cannot. "You have cauda equina. You're going to need surgery right away," the surgeon says. "Go down to the ER and we'll get you on the table within the hour." Seven hours go by before they meet again in the operating room. All the beds in the ER ward were full, with moaning patients littering the halls so our lower back patient was put in the "calm room," reserved for mental patients, because it was the only room available. The anastesia kicks in...

The patient wakes up in the neurology unit, next to a man who has been shot seven times. When the morphine doesn't knock him out he sees nurses scrambling to get to more moaning patients. They dump filled urine bottles in the common toilet. When the patient makes it to the washroom the floor is covered in piss.

The patient is discharged after three days. He sees the surgeon twice more. Before he goes he finds out more about cauda equina, a rare disorder in which the bulging disk presses on the bottom of the spinal canal, which is not protected by the spinal cord. According to Wikipedia, "cauda equina syndrome is regarded as a medical emergency." It is supposed to be treated within 48 hours.

The first time he finds out from the surgeon that the reason he was not operated on immediately is because they didn't have enough beds for him and the new mother. "There are as many neurosurgeons in the Bay area as there are in all of Canada," the surgeon says. No rehabilitation program is given, except for a suggestion to try swimming. On the second visit the patient notices a letter from the government. It threatens suspension for the doctor because he is behind in his paperwork.

To this day that patient does not have full control over his bladder, nor does he have full feeling in his midsection. He recently went to RateMds.com and found the following post about his surgeon: "Very discourteous. Did not explain reason for operation. Was not aware of recent developments in field (as explained by other surgeons consulted). Apparently not up-to-date with modern practice methods."

This patient is me. I do not advocate the U.S. system, which is a bastardization of private health care, nor do I advocate the Canadian system, which is a bastardization of socialized medicine. What I do endorse are straight facts about both systems. Yes, the poor and downtrodden can get treated in Canada. Yes, there are horror stories of ordinary folks being turned down for medical care by bureaucratic insurance companies. But there are horror stories like mine, which would not occur in the U.S.

Here are some things to consider while you watch Sicko:

1) The same people who buy fire insurance and car insurance don't purchase health insurance. Why is that? Because they choose not to. They weigh the risk of serious injury versus the cost of insurance and they choose to go uncovered.

2) The U.S. government's National Health Strategy was implemented by Richard Nixon in 1971. Isn't that government health care? We shouldn't call the U.S. system private, just as we shouldn't call the Canadian system public. I mean how many private clinics do we have anyway?

3) Our friend from Windsor, Kyle, the common-law "boyfriend" of the woman who drives up to Canada for cancer treatment, calls our system "stress free." But how long can a system sustain itself if people from the U.S. come up here and defraud it. Who else is defrauding the system? At least Richard is honest when he says our taxes pay for all this. But what percentage will we pay to sustain those who abuse the system?

4) Che Guevera's daughter tells Moore the U.S. should do more for its people. Drugs are readily available and cheap when Moore visits. Besides completely flying in the face of the law of supply and demand, this just isn't true. In Isabel Vincent's report July 7, 2004 report from Moron, Cuba, she notes the local pharmacy hasn't stocked even Aspirin for at least a year. The other thing Moore and Guevera fail to mention is that two products of the capitalist system, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, fund hundreds of billions of dollars' worth of the health care system for an entire continent.

Richard: I finally get why you found Sicko so objectionable, but I have to say for every gruesomely detailed story like yours, I can provide a positive one. People get sick. It's going to happen to all of us at some time in our lives, and the bottom line, and really the only point Moore is trying to make in Sicko, is that in the United States insurance companies are the ones making the decision whether or not you'll receive care. That doesn't happen here. It may take a bit longer to wind through the system, but I can be confident that if I become ill I don't have to worry that my insurance carrier is going to drop me or that the hospital is going to deny me treatment. You had a rough go of it, and your story is not pretty, but you did get care. In your post you say,"... there are horror stories like mine, which would not occur in the U.S." That's simply not true. This horror story wouldn't occur in the US if you have insurance, and even then there's no guarantee you'll be approved for care. In any case 47 million Americans don't have health insurance and wouldn't have gotten any care. None at all. Now that's a horror story.

Moore's films provoke people. He uses the language and tactics of the right wing to drive home his point. He's as subtle as a jackhammer, but the underlying truth to his film cannot be denied. The most powerful and wealthy country in the world comes in 39th on the WHO's list of world health care systems, and doesn't provide adequate medical attention for all its citizens. Societies are judged by the way they treat their sick, their elderly, their children. He simply shows us how American society has chosen to allow insurance companies make the call as to how people are looked after and those companies have decided that profits are more important than people. It's a call to arms to repair a system that is badly broken. Ours might not be perfect, your story supports that, but it provides peace of mind for me that my fellow Canadians, through their taxes are looking out for me, my neighbors and everyone from coast to coast. It's a grand concept but it is one that connects us and provides for us, all of us.